Life is Not a Cymbalta Commercial: Real Life with Depression and Anxiety

By Eva Hamm on September 30, 2013

It’s hard to pay attention to articles about depression and anxiety because they are often full of dry statistics and long, complicated words explaining the symptoms. People who have never taken a psychology course (which happens to be most of the world) have a hard time understanding what it’s like to have depression and anxiety when they read these articles because they aren’t very helpful in explaining them in everyday terms. They think that depression is just being sad, and anxiety is just being nervous, when in reality it’s much more difficult than that.

(Note: please never tell someone who has depression or anxiety to just “stop being sad” or “cheer up” or “calm down” because not only is that very insensitive, but it also makes no sense. If it were that easy, they would have done it already.)

Depression

Let’s start with depression. Depression is a chemical imbalance of the brain.  And yes, this chemical imbalance makes you sad. But not sad in an “I watched Old Yeller” way, or an “I miss someone” kind of way, or even in an “A close friend/relative just died” way (although depression can be triggered by an event like that). Depression is an unexplainable sadness. Often there is no reason for feeling sad. It’s just a gray, flat, unending sadness that sticks to you like glue.

People who have depression often relate it to a storm cloud constantly hovering over your head, casting a dark shadow on everything and making it impossible to see things in a good light. Some relate it to a very heavy blanket or weight settling on you, making it hard to do simple things like getting up in the morning, which is why people suffering from depression are so often depicted as laying around in bed all day. That is not just a stereotype; that is real. Personally, at the worst of my depression, it felt like I was drowning or slipping down a slope. No matter how much I tried to go forward, it was always like I was constantly being pulled back. It was an exhausting struggle, but eventually I got to the point where it was manageable. Of course it comes back in swings, but for the most part it stays away and I can live my life normally. Many people are not as lucky as I have been. They lack the support that I have been lucky enough to have, or they just don’t have the energy to continue fighting it.

Anxiety

Now let’s talk about anxiety. Even though anxiety is the most common of all the mental disorders, it is not very well known. Anxiety is when someone becomes so anxious and upset about a certain situation that it interferes with their everyday life. This can range from social anxiety (anxiety coming from the idea of interacting with others) to phobias (specific extreme fears) to general anxiety (anxiety that permeates throughout every activity someone does). When people are suffering from anxiety, the idea of the stressful situation they are afraid of often makes them physically ill with nausea, dizziness, elevated heart rates, or trouble breathing. When the anxiety is severe, these become full-blown panic attacks, which can make it so someone becomes completely unable to function and need to go to the hospital.

Having very mild anxiety as I do, I can tell you that “mild” does not, in any way, mean it’s easy. Mild anxiety the way I have it means having trouble asking people for help because you’re afraid they will think you’re stupid. It means being afraid to bring up sensitive subjects with your family because you think they might yell at you, despite the fact that they don’t do that very often (and God forbid someone does actually get upset with you and you feel worthless for days). It means getting a sense of impending doom when you know you have to go to work, because you’re afraid you’re going to do something wrong and everyone will think you’re stupid. Not wanting to go to class because it seems like everyone is smarter and more talented than you. Not wanting to go to dinner alone because it’s hard to talk to people and make friends when you feel like everyone’s judging you. Not wanting to bother the friends you already do have with your troubles. Having an extremely hard time writing your weekly article because you just can’t come up with an idea that you think is good enough.

Rationally, I know all these things are wrong—and that’s why anxiety is more than just being nervous. The normal part of my brain reminds me that I’ve been able to do most of these things for years without any problems, but the uncontrollable, off-balance chemicals in my brain tell me I’m wrong and push me to think I’m never good enough. I cannot stress this enough: depression, anxiety, and all other mental disorders are not in the control of the person who suffers from them. They know it’s not right, that’s why it’s a disease. That’s why there’s medication and doctors for it.

Like my depression, my anxiety fluctuates. I am lucky that it is never bad enough that I have full-on panic attacks. I can still, for the most part, live my life. The purpose of this article is to advocate for those who can’t, whose disorders are so severe that they are unable to function normally. If you see someone that is exhibiting symptoms of these disorders, or if someone confides in you that they think they have them, then support them. Be there for them. Help them to get better, just like you would care for someone who has the flu. And please, please, don’t ever tell them to “just get over it.” It’s not that easy.

Follow Uloop

Apply to Write for Uloop News

Join the Uloop News Team

Discuss This Article

Get Top Stories Delivered Weekly

Back to Top

Log In

Contact Us

Upload An Image

Please select an image to upload
Note: must be in .png, .gif or .jpg format
OR
Provide URL where image can be downloaded
Note: must be in .png, .gif or .jpg format

By clicking this button,
you agree to the terms of use

By clicking "Create Alert" I agree to the Uloop Terms of Use.

Image not available.

Add a Photo

Please select a photo to upload
Note: must be in .png, .gif or .jpg format