Finding Your Voice in College

By Kaitlin Hurtado on August 31, 2017

College can spark a wide range of emotions: excitement for the freedom and sense of adventure it brings; dread and anxiety at the academic aspect; the thought of leaving home and everything you are familiar with behind for a foreign place with new faces.

There isn’t a definite “How to” guide when it comes to college, making it even scarier where there are plenty of ways to get to your definition of success but also plenty of room to make mistakes along the way.

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If you come from a background that limited your freedom or shielded you from certain aspects of the world — be it good or bad — you might find college even scarier. If you grew up “sheltered” or relied on your parents when it came to making decisions, making decisions for yourself can be even harder. Even decisions as small as picking classes at the start of your freshman year will make you want to text your mom for a second opinion on what schedule suits you better.

You might find yourself sinking into meeting others that appear so sure of themselves, never second guessing their decisions. Instead of spending your college years (and later) shying away from opportunities and new experiences because you don’t think you are up to the challenge or think you aren’t qualified, use your time in college to help you solidify your personal identity and find your voice by considering the following tips.

Don’t be afraid to try something new 

College is the perfect place and time to find something that you genuinely find interesting. If you have always had an interest in dancing but never picked it up in fear of being bad at it, go for a dance club on campus. At the beginning of the year, many clubs host different events for new and returning students. If you fear looking bad, keep in mind that the club should be expecting near-beginners, especially if auditions/workshops are open to everyone with all levels of experience.

In college, your own schedule is up to you. You don’t have to ask your parents or guardians if it’s okay to take up a sport or hobby; instead, you can try as many things as your schedule (and financial situation) allows. You can stop at whatever moment you decide something isn’t right for you, and pick the next thing to try as soon as you see fit.

Don’t be afraid to say yes to something you’ve never tried (or heard of) because it may just be the thing you look back on as the highlight of your college career or something you continue even when you are out of college.

Know when to say yes and when to say no

College is definitely the time to figure out what you like and experience new things but to a certain degree. You don’t want to say no to every opportunity just because it doesn’t “seem like you,” but you definitely do not want to turn into someone that can be coerced into doing anything and everything.

Know your personal limits. For example, if you know you have a big exam or a cramped work and school schedule coming up, don’t say yes to every social offer that comes your way. The weekend camping trip? It can wait till the next break. The day at the beach? It can just be moved to next weekend after your commitments have been fulfilled.

Do things for you

Don’t just go through the motions in college like you did in high school, doing things just because you are expected to. Know that you are in charge of your own life and when you start feeling like you are living by a routine that is not your own, you can always act to change it. Go on an outing with friends if you feel like all you have been doing is spending your time slumped over books.

If you feel like you are saying “yes” to your friends and social plans too often, so much that your grades are slipping or you continuously call off work, start saying “no” or “maybe next time.”

Know when to put your foot down — and how to do it — in different situations. If someone in a class group is taking control of the project for themselves, stand up for yourself and insert your opinions/desires for the project as well. If your manager is stacking hours upon hours onto your schedule, speak to them about decreasing your work hours, or even consider looking for a job that will allow you to work the hours you want to work.

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