4 Steps for Assimilating Into Your Sublet Space

By Tamiera Vandegrift on September 9, 2017

After an excruciating search for a sublet space, you have finally found what you’ve been looking for. It’s perfect in all senses of the word except for one detail: your new roommates are less than enthusiastic about taking in a new roommate (and that’s putting it mildly!).

It looks like your subletter didn’t discuss their subletting plans thoroughly with your new roommates. Amidst all the tension and negative vibes, you try fervently to find a new living space where you can at least live with ease, but to no avail. You’re trapped with these roommates.

Well, before you barricade yourself in your room to outlast the semester in isolation, keep reading to learn how to diffuse tension between your new roommates and yourself in order to survive the semester!

Image via: www.pexels.com

Step 1: Bite the Bullet

The journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step and so the journey of a new living situation will begin with a single word: hello. It might seem like you’re walking straight into the lion’s den with that one, but the only way to diffuse tension is to communicate.

As much as we’d like to think that ignoring our problems will make them go away, we need to face reality. Even though it might be intimidating at first, you will be glad that you even made the gesture at all. Talk to them whenever you can. Ask them how their semester is going and what they’re studying. Proving to them that you’re actually a decent human being and not a stranger they need to be apprehensive towards will help your relationship in the long run.

Make all the small talk you can. Try to find things that you have in common. Do they also binge Netflix to the point that their mental health needs to be questioned? Do they also stay up on social media reposting memes? Do they also aspire to be Gordan Ramsay in the kitchen? Chances are that you have more in common with your roommates than you might think. Finding those things will make diffusing tension a lot smoother in the long run.

Image via: www.pexels.com

Step 2: Establish Rapport

Don’t give your roommates a valid reason to dislike you. Even though it’s not necessarily fair for them to dislike you right off the bat, it is not your place to be the catalyst for a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you work towards being an A+ roommate, they will have less to hold against you.

Wash your dishes in a timely manner; don’t leave them sitting for days at a time if you can help it. Don’t leave an area of the house messier than you found it. Ask before you use your roommates’ belongings or snack on your roommates’ food. Even though the space is shared, that doesn’t mean there aren’t any boundaries.

Ask before you have overnight guests or before you plan to invite more than a handful of people over. Treat your roommates as you would like to be treated. It’s easy to be angry with them for their attitude towards you, especially when it’s not really justified. This is a totally valid feeling. However, it’s up to you to reverse the trend and make the best out of the situation.

Go as far as to invite your roommates to go out with you when you get the opportunity. If you’re going to the movies with friends, invite them to tag along with you. If you’re going to a house party, ask if they would be interested in coming too. The more positive things that your roommates have to associate you with, the better. And who knows? You might have made some real friends by the time your lease is over.

Image via: www.pexels.com

Step 3: Keep your Sanity

Unfriendly roommates can be overwhelmingly toxic and draining. With that being said, it’s important to put your mental health into consideration as well. Go for walks alone if/when the tension gets to be too much for you.

Maybe you’re having a bad day and a passive aggressive comment or glance from your roommates is enough to set you off. If that’s the case, take time for yourself. Call your family or your friends. Go out and have fun away from home for a while. Go to the library to do your homework rather than your living room. Take space away from home as much as you need to.

However, there is a limit. Your mental health should always come before anything else. If you’ve tried everything above, then you’ve done everything you could, which brings this article to its final point …

Image via: www.pexels.com

Step 4 (If All Else Fails!): Abandon Ship

If your roommates are still hostile after you’ve made every effort to befriend them, it is time to use your resources and move on. Your space is your home and nobody should have the right to ruin that for you or make you feel as if you aren’t welcome. Speak to your property manager about the situation and see what your options are. Whatever the case, make sure that you find the housing situation that’s best for you.

Tamiera is a senior at Florida State University, studying Editing, Writing & Media and Digital Media Production. When she's not geeking out about movies and puppy videos, she's on her way to a career in screenwriting, while working intensely to finish a few novels before graduation. Besides writing, Tamiera is otherwise obsessed with Coldplay, feminism, dystopian novels, and various types of junk food. She hopes to see one of her works on the silver screen and eventually finish an entire tube of Chapstick.

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